Debutante Brawlers (88) def. Trauma Queens (61)
Tai Chi-tahs (80) def. Atlanta Rollergirls (60)

Hell hath no fury like a woman

I know, I know... the quote everyone knows ended with "a woman scorned", but I like to think that Congreve added on the "scorned" bit because he felt guilty about something. To the best of my knowledge you don't have to scorn a woman for her to have a bit of fury... and March 11 was a showcase of just that... fury.

March 11th was the first double-header for the Carolina Rollergirls... double the bouts, double the fun. And fury. The first bout would match up two home teams - the Trauma Queens and the Debutante Brawlers... and the second would feature last season's champion Tai Chi-tahs against the visiting Altanta Rollergirls (ARG!!!!) All-Star team. It would also be a first for me for the evening... my first chance to watch (as a spectator) a Carolina Rollergirls bout. I was behind the lines for the first bout, but for the second I was a full-fledged, rabid derby fan.

Trauma Queens vs. Debutante Brawlers

The players on these teams are all Carolina Rollergirls. They all love each other. There's a part of them that wants to see each other broken in little bloody heaps on the track, whimpering in pain. The season-opening three-way tournament was a clear indication of that and set the tone for this season. This game was no different as both teams were ready to get down and derby. Due to injuries, the Trauma Queens would be supported by Princess America from the Tai Chi-tahs.

Both teams have drastically different styles. The Brawlers are running through the period with a small crew of jammers but with heavy concentration on blocking and helping their jammers through the pack. We're not talking about ineffective banging-together-of-bodies... we're talking about the kind of blocking that nets you near a 75% lead jam percentage across all your jammers. The game starts fairly even the first few jams, but that lead-jammer control is enabling the Debs to nullify the best Queen jammers and keep their production low. The period ends with the Debs showing a 7 point lead and exerting control over the game.

Debutante Brawlers 41, Trauma Queens 34

So there's fury... then there's cold, calculating destruction. Before the game the Debutante Brawlers promised to be more Brawler than Debutante. In reality, they were shrewd hitmen. Innate familiarity with other players in the league has allowed them to contain the larger Trauma Queen threats. They started the period with a lead and remain in control for the rest of the game. By then end of the game they Deb's had held the Queens pointless on 15 of 29 jams and stretched their lead to end up 20 points.

Debutante Brawlers 88, Trauma Queens 61

The two players that stood out to me the most during this game were Zella Lugosi (Queens) and Kitty Crowbar (Debs). Zella was a beast - she jammed, she hit, she blocked, she assisted... she seemed to be the only Queen the Brawlers simply could not contain. Kitty, typically a blocker, pulled a number of jammer shifts for the Debs... and with shrewed play was able to gain lead jammer a number of times against "better" Queen jammers, calling it before they could score.

• Eris Discordia led all jammers with 42 points for the Debs, followed by Billy the Kid with 27. The Queen's best jammers were Roxy Rockett (22 points) and Zella Lugosi (21). Kitty Crowbar jammed smart and ended with 19.
• Shirley Temper and Ms. Fit led with HUGE numbers of blocks and assists for the Brawlers... and as you'd expect Roxy Rockett led for the TQs.

Atlanta Rollergirls (ARG!!!!) vs. Tai Chi-tahs

Yes... the classic pirates-versus-ninjas battle. Who would win? This debate has raged for years... but soon we'd have an answer. Who indeed could win this timeless, eternal struggle? Atlanta had sent their entire 14-mate travel squad(or is that a Pirate Crew?) but the Tai Chi-tahs were short players. To more closely match last-year's squad, Eris Discordia would rejoin them and Zella Lugosi would be skating in place of Penelope Bruz. That meant, of course, that not only were they short (even after subbing players) but three of those players (Princess America, Zella and Eris) had all just finished knocking the crap out of each other in the previous game.

Did I mention I'm spectating this game? In the intermission I hastily removed my stripey shirt and skates and replaced them with jeans and CRG logo-wear. I drained the rest of my sports drink, then bought Penelope Bruz a beer (and one for myself) and joined the skaters on the track. We've got plenty of refs since there are some visiting folk from ATL, so this is my chance to be an obnoxious fan.

First thought... the Chi-tahs are short jammers. Betty Rumble should be fresh, Marcy Killer can jam and we know Princess, Eris and Zella are solid but they just skated the last game and I'm not sure if they have enough gas. Second thought is that even though the Chi-tahs are somewhat sizeable ATL is bigger. We'll see how that pans out.

All three of the home teams have distinct styles. The Chi-tahs are running more of an anti-jammer set up than the the Queens or Debs typically do... they recycle to hit, block, scrape better than the other teams and can really punish unsuspecting jammers. The downside is that there isn't always someone looking out for their own jammer, so at times that model may not work.

The churn is going in the pack with the Chi-tah pivot and B1 combos keeping the ARG jammer in the pack long enough for the rest of the ninja cats to cycle and hit... cycle and hit. The Chi-tahs are relying on having better endurance than Atlanta and the constant cycling and hitting wearing them down. Surprisingly, Zella Lugosi is a demon (demonette?) in this game too and is wreaking havoc in the pack... and both Eris and Princess seem to have tons of energy even after skating the previous game. The Chi-tahs are also holding their own against the larger ARG blockers, espescially in the front of the pack.

Tai Chi-tahs 41, Atlanta Rollergirls 32

At the start of this period I go and sit with my wife's father who's come down for the bout. We're cheering in a small section that consists of myself, her father, her brother, her sister-in-law and a handful of friends. Rockerboy announces that she seems to have her own cheering section and we start to make some noise... only to realize that there's about a dozen really loud folks on the opposite end of the arena chanting louder for her. I tell my father in law that I think we must be sitting in the wrong section ...

Back to the action, the Atlanta girls seem to be really showing signs of fatigue. The Tai Chi-tahs are merciless and continue to pound. They seem to have pep, energy... whatever. Maybe it is training or maybe it is between-periods replenishment. It's likely a bit of both.

Zella Lugosi gets my "favorite moment of the game as a fan" vote. After being sent to the box for her fourth minor (a foul with which she obviously disagreed) instead of arguing with the ref or getting angry she blew him a kiss... and got another major tacked on! The crowd absolutely loved the interchange... and since I'm not reffing I'm enjoying the heck out of it myself.

Atlanta is sticking with the game, having a few good jams. They are winning one here and there but frankly, they are simply losing the war. They can't keep up with the speed, endurance and persistence of the Tai Chi-tahs. The bigger girls are getting worn out and can't block as effectively for the jammers and the Chi-tahs carry their lead and momentum to the end of the bout, besting Atlanta. Ninjas everywhere rejoice as your ancient pirate foes have been defeated!

Tai Chi-tahs 80, Atlanta Rollergirls 60

• What impresses me most is the performance of the non-interleague Chi-tahs. At the core of the team are some experienced interleague skaters (Betty Rumble, Maddat-U, Princess America, Marcy Killer) a few newly-qualified interleagers (Krewesader Kate, Heavens to Betsy)... and then VERY solid set of girls who've not quite passed their requirements for the interleague team. Trainwreck & Fairy Brutal were absolute terrors and rookie Minnie Mauser was voted by the stats crew as the most underrated for the bout (she did far more than the stats imply). This only means good things for the Chi-tahs' future!
• They did this without Violet Femme, one of the best all-around players on the team. Word is on the street though that she'll be back for the April bout.
• Marcy Killer had an absolute monstrous hit on one of the bigger Atlanta blockers. She caught the blocker coming in for the hit out of the corner of her eye and counter-blocked, landing her shoulder right in the chest of the ARG blocker and toppling her.
• Demi Gore and Wheelin Jennings absoutely owned Lead Jammer... with an impressive 80% LJP each. Atlanta held a 48% for the entire bout... pretty impressive. Demi Gore led Atlanta with 21 points, followed by Belle of the Brawl (17) and Wheelin Jennings (15). Blocking leaders were Spice-n-Dice, Foxfire and Knockin' Robin. Special mention goes to Viva Hate who was the 4th best jammer AND blocker for ARG.
• The Tai Chi-tah jammers were led by Princess America (38), Eris Discordia (29) and Betty Rumble (13)... backed by the recycling blocks of Maddat-U, Fairy Brutal and Zella Lugosi.

I had a few more beers during the bout... the exact count is not important. I also yelled and cheered like a maniac so much that I could barely talk the next day. It was absolutely the most fun derby experience of my life (so far). You see, next week I get to try something COMPLETELY different. I'm nervous... anxious... and scared out of my gourd - The ladies have asked that I take a turn on the bench for their interleague bouts at the East Coast Extravaganza!

Maybe they are just tired of me yelling at them and telling them what they are doing wrong... either way, next week I'm BEHIND THE BENCH.

I should come up with some sort of plan for that.

Yikes.

voodoo

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