CRG Blog

Roxy Rockett Retires! Oh, and we played some roller derby.

Posted on: Apr 21, 2010

Before going into the awesomeness of the bouts that were played by the amazing Carolina Roller Girls this weekend I would like to announce that ROXY ROCKETT HAS RETIRED FROM COMPETITIVE ROLLER DERBY. If you’re still reading, (or can read through your tears) she is not gone forever. Roxy Rockett is returning to refereeing and will be dominating while wearing zebra skins and her cute little green helmet. The two positives that I can come to terms with at the moment are 1) derby will go on and still be really awesome, and 2) in the huddle when someone refers to Roxy there will no longer be any confusion because we will know they are referring to Roxxy Slide.

To Roxy Rockett-you are legendary, loved and a seriously badass mother…

The Bootleggers game has been pretty well described in yesterday’s post but I would like to add that while The Smack-tacular Smackbeth, Maddatu and Elektra Q Tion did amazing jobs the newbie skater Slick and Twisted earned a mention. She delivered several grand slams and for her premiere Dorton bout has proven that she is someone to watch.

The All-Star Game… HOLY SCHMOLY those Canadians can play some derby. This was CRG’s first international game. The New Skids on the Block from Montreal wear neon everything and flash by like… well they might be the fastest things from Canada.  I’m not ashamed to say we straight up got our booties handed to us but we put up a good fight and The New Skids out skated us. They were described by DVS and Kitty Crowbar as “scrappy.” They were fast, amazing on their feet and called plays while in the pack. When our jammer would come up on the pack they literally put three players on the line and made a blocked tunnel around the inside for her. Ewan Wotamy and Cheese Grater both had moments that you’ll have to refer to the tape to fully appreciate.

I love my A-team and each person did an amazing job. I can’t even list who stood out as the stars for the All-Star because they all did amazing. I remember Crackya jamming around like torpedo and when blocking gave Celia Fate an amazing whip to break through the pack. Celia Fate, Mini Mauser, Pink Slip and Princess America all jammed their hearts out. Princess was putting up one hell of a fight and took a massive hit. She smiled while flying through the air horizontally and smiled as she got up and skated off.  The final score doesn’t matter, but the New Skids are welcome to a rematch.

For you readers who weren’t able to make it out… you missed all the derby action listed above and then some. What you won’t be able to watch on the tape were things like a dude wearing a bacon costume while walking a dog in a hot dog vest. The people watching and the fans are almost as fun to watch as the derby… almost. Look at the schedule because you are welcome to be part of the action.

Contributed by Erna Chronic Beatin’



  1. Gavin says:

    Hail to Roxy! I guess I will come see you ref now.

    April 21, 2010 at 7:38 pm

  2. Riva Derci says:

    The dude in the bacon costume (which, incidentally, Roxxy Slide made with her own two little crafty hands) walking a pooch in a hot dog vest was none other than longtime CRG fan and supporter Pistol Pete. This is the man who wore a full wetsuit complete with flippers and snorkel to the I’d Rather Be Golfing vs. I’d Rather Be Swimming fun challenge at last year’s ECE. I’ll let you take a guess as to which team he was supporting. Derby goes on without Pistol Pete in attendance (we managed to survive while he was deployed overseas with the U.S. Marines) but it definitely isn’t nearly as wacky!

    April 22, 2010 at 8:01 pm

  3. rosie the rioter says:

    The woman, the myth, the legend! Noooooo! Not retiring! I/we were all looking forward to watching and skating with her this year. But what can ya do. I can say though, that she will be received with a very warm welcome as a WFTDA referee. The referee world can learn a thing or two from the great mind of Ms Roxy, not to mention a lesson from her solid ethics and straightforward, tell it like it is style. Becoming a ref is where all good skaters should go….and be reborn in another leadership form. Good for you and do your thing, Roxy!

    April 23, 2010 at 1:08 pm

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