#305 -

Personal Stats
Birthday: A long time ago.
Height: 5'-4"
Weight: Bigger on the inside than the outside.

Skate: Antics! MG2

Cross Training: Yoga! Meditation. Racquetball. Swimming.

Debut: Bootleggers v. Richmond, VA B Team, June 2012.


Joined CRG: July 2011.

Teams You've Played For: Carolina Bootleggers; Debutante Brawlers

Favorite Location: Skate Ranch, American Tobacco Trail

Favorite Surface: Wood.

How did you find derby?: I found derby twice! Once, when I lived in Raleigh in 2006, when I first saw a CRG bout. I thought every one of the players was crazy to play derby. I also thought it looked fast and dangerous and fun as hell. Moving back to the Triangle in 2011, I found derby again at Mad Hatter's cafe in Durham -saw a poster on their public bulletin board for the CRG bootcamp. My sister was with me and said, "I'll go if you go." and we did! We both trained for a month or so prior to try outs and we wanted to be the second sister team on CRG, skating under the name the Blister Sisters. She didn't make it, and I did and on try out day, she waited in the Skate Ranch parking lot for hours to see if I made it. She did not become a derby player that day, but she became a derby fan and CRG volunteer.

Sports Background: Softball in junior high, soccer in high school, swimming/lifeguarding, racquetball in college, ACL tear in college. Extreme loafing.

Best Fresh Meat Moment: When Roxy Rockett quit calling me Jean Shorts. :) Second best moment: Passing my basic skills (Level One) so that I could scrimmage with the real derby skaters. Third best moment: When the next fresh meat class came in January 2012, so that I was not the freshest meat on the team. Rancid!

Favorite Derby Memory: I have not had a long time to create memories in derby so far, but my highlights include passing try outs (surprise!), realizing that I could do crossovers backwards, treating myself to brand new skates and plates and wheels, and jamming in my first bout.

Likes: Winning. Road trips. Cooking. Cussing. Pulaskis. Complaining. Cheap Mexican food. Stall three in the Skate Ranch women's bathroom. Waiting until I get into my car to cry after a frustrating practice. Cussing. Speeding. Being able to stay on my skates after taking a big hit. Avoiding big hits. Dark chocolate. Lilly's pizza. Tofu. Sweaters. Knitting. Cussing while knitting. Certain cats. Glaring.

Dislikes: Conversations that start, "You know what you need to do?" Costumes with masks. Being told I cuss too much. Veal. Being called "crackerhead". Weak connective tissues. Insulin resistance. Being bored.

Derby Heroes: Daisy Rage!

Name Inspiration: I love derby names. I pored over two evils when I first thought about playing derby. It is still one of my favorite things to do - come up with derby names. I have a friend who is a pessimist, and does not play derby, and I sometimes call her Sunny Cide. I siggested to a 6 year old fan who loves horses and hamsters that she should consider Jamster for her future derby name. Get it? Hamster. Jamster. There is already a skater named Hoss. I always want to change my derby name but I stick with the only one I have ever had because it is so fitting and awesome. I thought of it after seeing the movie Whip It. My friend Miriam came up with Smeariam. And I came up with Scaristotle, because I am a philosopher. And it is easily shortened to a really good derby name, too - Scary. Has the word "scar" right in it! Skato/Plato doesn't have the same ring to it. Occam's Skater was in the running. I couldn't really work with Heraclitus at all. Oh snap! Scaraclitus! That is also a great one! You can have it if you want it.

Food Before a Bout: Vegan Vietnamese food, heavy on the tofu.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? The ability to shoot glitter form my fingertips.

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